Glastonbury 2023 is well underway, and whilst we’ve picked out our favorite headliners (Hello, Alex Turner!), and chosen our celebrity festival fashion-inspired looks, there is one perhaps inevitable part of festivals you shouldn’t forget to also prepare for: sex.
And while there’s nothing inherently sexy about fighting over toilet paper, and roughing it in a tent that both manages to be freezing at night, and 60 degrees celsius in the early morning, there’s not much else to do before the acts kick off the afternoon.
Don’t think that just because you’re at a festival, all rules go out the window.
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between, we’re your source for all the best festival sex tips for Glastonbury 2023, and beyond. Pippa Murphy, a sex and relationship expert at condoms.uk has revealed some festival sex must-knows before getting down and dirty on site.
What are you waiting for? Get ready to turn that rainy weather into something a little more steamy, and make your festival summer go out with a bang (literally).
Consent Is Key for Festival Sex
Firstly, the non-negotiable takeaway for festival sex is consent. “Always obtain clear and enthusiastic consent from your partner,” Murphy explains in a press handout. “Make sure both of you are comfortable and on the same page before engaging in any sexual activity. Remember that consent can be withdrawn at any time.”
She also reminds us to be mindful of whether your sexual partner is under the influence of alcohol or drugs. “While it’s common for people to consume alcohol or other substances at festivals, be aware of how these substances may affect your or their ability to consent, communicate, and perform sexually. It’s essential to prioritise safety and consent above all else.”
Timing Is Everything With Festival Sex
Whilst all sex is sex (we don’t judge here), it turns out that there is actually a better time to heat things up at a festival. “Ideally, you should try and have sex as early as possible during the festival as you and your partner feel comfortable enough to,” the expert says. Let’s face it, no one likes to ride with a puddle of spilled cider, or with mud up to their knees on the five-day-old groundsheet. At least, if you bang at the beginning of a festival, you’ll be somewhat clean, and energised. “While they’re fun, festivals can really take it out of you,” says Murphy.
Condoms Are a Festival Essential
Birth control and protection is another necessity for protecting against STIs and pregnancy (remember “Bridget Jones’s Baby” conundrum?) when it comes to festival sex, but there’s one place that you should never carry condoms: your pocket. “Not many people know that condoms can overheat in pockets, causing the quality of the condom to degrade, therefore, giving them a higher chance of breaking during intercourse,” Murphy says. “Similarly, leaving them in the direct sunlight of a tent can cause them to overheat so make sure to store them in a dry, cool place.”
Factor in the Festival Sex Cleanup
When it does come down to festival sex, make sure yourself and your partner have clean hands before you start. “Use hand sanitiser or wash your hands with soap and water before engaging in sexual activities at a festival,” the sex expert advises. “Naturally, festivals can be quite dirty but doing this can help prevent the spread of germs and bacteria.” It may also be wise to bring wet wipes (biodegradable, obvs) to clean your vulva, as you can be more prone to UTIs at festivals.
Bring Your Own Tent If You’re Going to Have Festival Sex
If another person owns half of the tent you’re planning on having sex with someone else in, it’s probably a better idea to bring your own. “Naturally, your tent is likely to be the most private and comfortable option available at a festival. However, make sure it’s well-ventilated and keep noise levels down to respect your neighbours — or you could play music on a speaker to drown out any noises,” Murphy also suggests. And don’t think that just because you’re at a festival, all rules go out the window. “Avoid engaging in sexual activities in public spaces where others may be uncomfortable or disturbed.”
Best Festival Sex Positions for Tight Spaces
If you are bringing a tent for just yourself, or for you and a friend or partner, the chances are that you’re probably not going to be blessed in the space department. But even if you’ve got five nights cooped up in a tent, know that when it comes to festival sex, when there’s a will, there’s a way.
- Spooning: In this position, both partners lie on their sides, with one partner behind the other. “This position is comfortable, requires minimal space, and allows for intimacy and closeness,” Murphy says.
- Cowboy or cowgirl: One partner sits or lies down while the other partner straddles them, facing towards or away from them. “This position allows the partner on top to control the pace and depth, and it doesn’t require much headroom,” says Murphy in the press release.
- Seated: Both partners face each other with their legs intertwined. “This position can be comfortable in a tent, as it doesn’t require much space or headroom,” she says.
- Doggystyle: One partner kneels on all fours while the other partner is on their knees behind them. “This position can work well in a tent if there’s enough room for both partners to comfortably kneel,” but be careful not to bust your airbed. It might be safer to kneel on the ground, if you don’t want to go the remaining four nights with a flat air mattress.